what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize