Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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