To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
