drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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