You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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