If that was your dad, he is hot
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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