Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You're like the curious george of whores
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
