Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize