So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I had to cum in my sink.
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