all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
