If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I still have a little drunk in my system
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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