I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
