If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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