i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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