last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
