Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
