I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
