I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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