What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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