would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
