so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
