it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize