I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
