I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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