When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
