And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
