just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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