The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
