ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize