So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
