8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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