We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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