At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize