so that wasnt chicken after all
My balls are so social today.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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