i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
