4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
