let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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