remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
