hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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