i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
