I just saw a hot homeless man
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
