Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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