Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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