At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize