do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
