I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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