is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
