i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
