It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
