just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
