The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
