We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
