and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up under a house in Key West
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