I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
