so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
God, I missed his penis.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
