so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
