I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
