We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize