They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
