so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
