Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
