if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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