I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
