Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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