You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
