Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
honey bunches of taint.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize