just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
two words...techno handjob
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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