a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize