I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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