apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
