I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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